Falling Asleep On Life

I was in the middle of the Ad, on one of those black couches by the “fireplace”, earnestly trying to stay awake and focus on the book of Ephesians in front of me. It was Day of Prayer and we had all been given an hour and a half to be silent and spend time with God in the middle of a busy week in the middle of our busy lives. I had been looking forward to this set aside time in which I planned to read Scripture and reflect on life together with God without distractions. However, while I was free of a pressing need to check emails and didn’t have people coming to me with requests or good conversations, I still couldn’t focus on what I was reading, or Who I was trying to hear. Lethargy and apathy are sneaky and ugly enemies! I ended up falling asleep for something like half an hour and awoke to the embarrassing realization of a wet cheek. Frustrated, I decided I needed to be moving in order to stay awake and went for a walk. Along the short journey from the Ad to the dorm to get a coat I passed three girls wrapped up in blankets, lying on the grass with their Bibles, in various stages of consciousness. This triggered in me an intense frustration with our constant state of tiredness, bordering on exhaustion, here at Bethany. Just a quick clarification: I am not saying it’s always a bad thing that we fall asleep while trying to spend time with God. I am sure He is happy to sometimes give us the gift of rest in those situations. But I am also sure that He sometimes hates that we fall asleep on Him, as well as the fact that we don’t take care of ourselves well enough to live life as fully as He intended. I will be the first to admit that I am not a regular advocate for going to bed at a reasonable hour, or giving up a good time for the sometimes wiser choice of sleep. I get so frustrated when an adult, upon hearing about a fun late night adventure advises me of the benefits of regular sleeping hours or implies the foolishness of “young people”. It’s just the way it is in college, right? But honestly, I wonder how much is too much. Admittedly, the good talks and most fun/crazy times happen after midnight. But at what cost? I can attest to the fact that stress is not handled well when tired. This only multiplies when reading textbooks lulls us into much needed sleep and homework doesn’t get done until an impending deadline gives as enough adrenaline to accomplish it. Misunderstanding and annoyances in relationships also seem a lot larger when sleep deprived, which makes for a fun time when living in dorm. I’m not saying lack of sleep is the only thing to blame for our lack of energy. Our culture as a whole doesn’t know what it means to truly rest, and Christians don’t seem to have a great handle on it either. I don’t mean to paint a terribly negative picture, but am asking the question, (while trying to figure out for myself), whether we should accept this tiredness as a part of life and learn to live with it, or whether a bit more sleep isn’t an unreasonable (or elderly) thing to aim for.
~Elya Penner